By Ulemu Mbengwani
For many, going to college is a dream, a symbol of hope and opportunity. In Malawi, this dream carries even greater weight. It represents a rare chance to break cycles of poverty and unlock doors to a brighter future. Yet, the harsh reality is that for most secondary school graduates, this dream remains out of reach. Limited higher education institutions and unaffordable tuition fees make tertiary education a privilege few can afford.
But even for those who make it to college, the dream can quickly turn into a nightmare. Each year, stories emerge of young college students taking their own lives, casting a shadow over what should be the most promising chapter of their lives. Suicide cases, though not confined to colleges, are a growing concern nationwide.
According to a September 2024 report by the Malawi Police Service, 256 people took their own lives between January and June. While the reasons vary, financial struggles and relationship breakdowns are often cited. Why are young minds, full of potential, succumbing to such despair? What are we missing, and how can we offer support?
In response to this issue, Thoko Mthiko, who graduated from the University of Malawi in 2022, has been leading an initiative that provides support to students facing mental health challenges, including those experiencing suicidal thoughts.
The genesis of a lifesaving mission
In September 2018, he co-founded The Commonwealth Malawi, a youth network that grew to coordinate programs across eight universities and colleges in the country. In 2019, the network adopted Teenage Strategy, initially a music project, which later expanded its focus to address a range of youth-related issues, including identity development and mental well-being.
“We initially began as a music project, with my colleague Barnie Michael, a producer and music artist. Over time, our work evolved into this initiative” Mthiko says.
The music project was titled Teenage Strategy, and it mainly focused on addressing personal identity development matters.It created a space where all aspects of identity were discussed, allowing participants to address deep-seated personal matters.
“Over time, the discussions increasingly focused on mental health, with suicide emerging as a central issue. This eventually led to making suicide prevention one of the key priorities of the initiative,” he explained.
Identifying people going through emotional distress and offering support
“For the most part, you will not know when someone is breaking until it is too late. It’s a make-up world; a generation for show,” Mthiko explains, reflecting on the challenges of identifying emotional distress.
According to him, creating a safe and judgment-free space for people to open up is essential. “I should emphasize, you don’t identify them; they identify you,” he adds.
Mthiko’s role as a Christian leader has proven instrumental in fostering trust. With oversight responsibilities in several Christian organizations, he believes his leadership style has helped him connect with people on a deeper level.
“This is where the art and science of leadership comes into play. When you go bossing around, people don’t find a confidant in you. But when you are human enough, they find someone who can feel their pain and hear them without judgment,” he shares.
The process, he notes, is often organic. The few people he initially supported began referring him to their friends, creating a ripple effect that expanded his reach. Mthiko’s academic background also plays a role in his work. With a minor in Psychology, he has developed an eye for identifying behavioral cues that may indicate depression.
“Withdrawal, recklessness, and expressions of hopelessness are a few behavioral cues that can give us a lead. While they are not definitive, they prompt us to create an environment where we can talk to the person in question,” he says.
He emphasizes the importance of providing an outlet for people to share their struggles. He believes everyone has a need to be heard and understood without judgment, adding that a lack of this understanding often causes individuals to withdraw.
Addressing mental health stigma and expanding support
Mthiko highlights the importance of addressing stigma surrounding mental health and suicide. He explains that creating a safe environment where individuals can confide in one another is essential. “Nothing is as healing as creating an environment where people can feel free to confide in one another,” he remarks.
He laments society’s tendency to focus solely on the act of suicide, neglecting the internal battles and prolonged struggles that precede it.
“We curse, we swear, we call the people who killed themselves names, but no one kills themselves in a day. They battle the thought for some time, weigh alternatives, and sometimes stay with it for a long time before they finally commit suicide. We don’t see all of it. We just see the death part,” he says, calling this reality deeply saddening.
Reflecting on universities’ role in reducing suicide rates, Mthiko emphasizes the need for open dialogue and accessible support systems. Drawing from personal experience, he recalls graduating from the University of Malawi without knowing that the Psychology Department offered counseling sessions to students. “We need programs like these to be fully publicized,” he urges.
Looking to the future, Mthiko sees opportunities to extend his initiative beyond university students to reach other vulnerable groups. He shares an encounter with a single mother who revealed that a conversation with him saved her life. “That was a pointer to me, single mothers need interventions,” he says.
His team is now exploring ways to scale up support for single mothers while expanding efforts to other demographics, including professionals in corporate spaces. Through podcasts and other platforms, they aim to spark meaningful conversations addressing these challenges.
Challenges and achievements
Mthiko recalls one of his most heartbreaking moments, the loss of a young man who hanged himself. “His death took me back to our finale farewell party,” he says.
“He was all smiles, sitting next to my friend, taking selfies. Little did I know that a year later, we would be singing hymn 371, ‘Kwathu Sipadziko,’ at his funeral.” The memory remains a painful reminder of the urgency to address mental health issues.
Despite such tragedies, Mthiko finds strength in the stories of resilience and transformation. He speaks of a young man who recently secured a job with an international school in Blantyre.
“He moved out of his parents’ home, started living independently, and even launched a business. A month ago, I had him speak at one of my events. It reminds me of the evening he wetted my shoulders with endless tears, feeling completely hopeless. Now, look at the beauty he is commanding,” he shares.
These victories are what keep him going. “Some who have overcome are now running organizations, while others just graduated this year. These moments brighten my face because they return 100 times better, impacting even more lives,” he says with pride.
However, challenges persist. “We are a noisy generation that struggles to open up about real personal matters,” he notes. “Before advancing on mental health issues, we must first teach people about communication. Healing from trauma is a process, and long-term interventions are often needed. Sadly, not everyone is ready to commit to them.”
In his final note, Mthiko advocates for greater awareness of mental health issues in Malawi, stressing that widespread acceptance of depression as a reality is the first step toward effective interventions.